Today was not the luckiest day for me. And it started off with some bad news from Brian. After breakfast I wanted to stay with Rita and her friend Ian. After a while of talking they went off and I was alone with Brian. He looked at me and said, “So I figured out I’m taking a week off before I leave so I can still have my Spring break.” Now Brian was leaving even sooner than he was, and it was already bad enough with him leaving in the first place. So my day was already off to a bad start.

Devon wasn’t here today which was a bit of a bummer because I wanted to see how he was doing with the whole me coming out o him thing and if he was still cool after our talk on Friday. I guess I’ll see him tomorrow. I really just hope he doesn’t give me his I’m-thinking-serious-thoughts-about-you Devon look that I sometimes get from him. He stares right at you and puts on an almost smile but still unhappy face which confuses the hell out of me.

Later in homeroom I realized that I had forgotten to put my permission slip in my backpack that was for a field trip to Boston. Thank god I was able to get one more day to get it in but if I screw up again I not only will be missing the field trip, but also having to explain to my mother why I was so irresponsible. I also ended up miss only one math problem on my assignment that was for homework and my sheet was marked as incomplete for the 9th time this term.

I was also getting more compliments, or should I say comments, on my new hair. At the beginning of the day a couple friends were saying, “Did you straighten your hair? Oh it looks nice.” At lunch however I had gotten a few from the ‘asses’ saying, “****” (last names will look like this. People like to call me by my last name.) “What’s up with your hair? It’s so gay.” To which I was thinking, “Yes. Yes it is.” You know, actually being gay makes the insult hurt a lot less when I think about it.

In History my bad luck continued. I had my essay on Lorenzo Ghiberti all set but I thought this was only a due date for a rough draft seeing as we never wrote an official rough draft like we always do. But apparently we needed the whole project today. I brought in my report, but I didn’t have my cover sheet or my bibliography. So now I will be turning in my incredibly hardly worked on essay late tomorrow. It was definitely a bummer since this report counts toward both my History class for the content and my English class for the writing quality. So I screwed up double with that one.

If anyone read earlier posts you would know I had written the words, “What’s wrong with liking other boys?” on the bathroom stall a little while ago. Well today, I finally got a reply on the wall. It read as followed:

“You, my friend, are a fag.” Don’t worry there are a few good things out of this. For one he used the proper punctuation and spelled everything right in that sentence. That’s also got to be the first time anyone has ever used the word ‘fag’ properly. I always thought it had lost it’s meaning and people just used it as a general term for stupid people like ‘retard’. It wasn’t too bad. I knew if anyone was going to reply to that it was going to probably be an insult. I hope they get my reply: “And? You say it like it’s wrong.” Honestly I don’t see what the big deal is with people.

I also got a comment from Frankie saying I had ’emo’ hair. So? His haircut reminds me of a bug. That may just be his eyes though. They remind me of ice. Definitely some of the cutest I’ve ever seen. And maybe that’s what I was striving for. It’s better than my past hair style. My hair looked like a vase surrounding my head. So who cares if I lok odd to people. I love my hair. It’s different.

My Skullcrushers ran out of battery today as well so I listened to my music without bass boost which made it sound really bad. Hardly worth listening to. We don’t have batteries at home either so I have to suck it up for a while, and I can’t live without my music. Before we got on the bus these 7th graders commented on my headphones, calling them earmuffs making me feel like shit. As well as my earring and ’emo’ hair. So they pretty much trashed my whole look. I felt stupid.

I then later that day had to play a hockey game with dull skates. I actually played a pretty good game. I didn’t let in any goals on net. The other goalie did though and the game ended up a tie of 1-1. I’m surprised that I didn’t let any goals in tonight, though since i was a little distracted. A player on our team, Jack, had invited his little brother Will to play for us tonight. He looked absolutely perfect. He had the cutest little innocent face, sparkling blue eyes and a neat head of golden blond hair. I found it pretty strange of him to keep looking at me while I was getting dressed, then looking away when I saw him watching, but not quick enough…

Look alike of Will

And now I am home and am preparing for a hopefully not so dreadful tomorrow. I think our school progress reports are coming and I know I’m not doing so well. Thankfully my dad wouldn’t take away the computer because I still need it for school. But my Xbox can say bye-bye.

Love.

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