A special thank you to all who encouraged me to finally tell my parents, and helped me obtain the courage i needed to say it to them! Hugs and Love to you all!

Well my boring school day isn’t important but I guess I have to describe the whole day. I came into the hangout as usual, yet this time greeted by a glomp, defined as a powerful hug that causes you to go a bit off balance, from Ian. We did our usual thing talking about current events in our lives and how our weekend went. I wasn’t thinking about anything except what was going to happen when I told my folks, though.

So it started with Math, semi-bore, then Latin, where I am starting to get irritated with Devon since he’s acting like I’m disgusting now and denies it too when it’s clear as day. Then was science, eh… Then gym, where we’re starting health class by talking about drugs and alcohol and the same noise they’ve been spewing at us since kindergarten. Next was lunch where I sat with Rita and Shaira, a nice break from the usual asses I sit with. Next was History, English, then Drama.

I had to stay after because I had to get some late work through with. At some point I think I had lost my mind because with the stress of Ian waiting along with what was about to occur, I had said something in which I immediately kicked myself. The teacher had said, “Oh, I am so tired I have to deal with all you kids!” Somehow I had just thought of her as a normal person, to which I responded, “Stop complaining.” And, oh, she shot me down cold. she had this long run-on sentence about my disrespect and that kind of noise and now I have a detention.

Now for the highlight of the day. Hooray! Ian had ended up waiting for me along with Shaira, too. So we took my route home, talking to each other about the good times in our lives (his arm around me). Then we walked into my house, and at this point I was ready to vomit. I walked up to my mom, after kicking my sister out of the room, and said, “Mom?” And nothing else. I was trying to get the words out. I tried to let Ian tell her but he didn’t. That wouldn’t have been a good thing though. I needed to tell her myself. She had started to get irritated which got me more frustrated. I kept trying to go through with this at the right angle. Then…

“I’m gay.” Oh, lord! I didn’t want it to just come out like that! “No you’re not!” was my mom’s first impression. Like this was a surprise. No one ever believes me. Makes sense, though, seeing as I don’t look, act, talk, or seem gay in any way. Boy I would’ve passed off as the perfect straight guy. After I insisted I wasn’t lying she was speechless. She just sent both me and Ian away as she called my father.

Me and Ian went outside where we sat on the bench on our porch. I felt like throwing up for good now. Ian tried to reassure me it was all going to be okay but I still had those worries. We just waited and talked until my mom said that my dad wanted to talk on the phone.

“Hey,” Dad began over the phone in a private room. “What’s going on?” I told him it was hard enough telling mom and I didn’t want to repeat it. “That’s fine. Look. I’m not mad. I don’t love you any less than I did ten minutes ago.” (Where have I heard that before?) ” I love you all the same. I just want to know why you would tell all your friends at school this and not us. Maybe it was a relief or something. I don’t know. But I don’t want you to be defined as what your sexuality is. I don’t want you to be ‘that gay guy’ or anything like that. And you can see how this can come off as a shock to your mother and I, right?” I agreed, also telling him how he’s handling it better than mom was. “Well that’s her then. But I don’t want it to seem like we care about you less.” We continued to talk about those things until mom came in the room wanting to talk to dad some more. He had suggested I send Ian home.

I went back out to Ian and told him what happened. He said that he hoped everything works out for me, and gave me a hug goodbye. From that point on I just sat on the porch thinking, trying not to throw up, and listening to The Cure.

I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
’cause boys don’t cry
Boys don’t cry

My mom later called me in to take my medicine (I’ve been on Azithromycin for my bronchitis I’ve had for a while now) and to talk to her about it.

She wasn’t happy about Ian being there so she couldn’t react correctly. The thing was I never ended up telling her about me and Ian seeing as she and my dad didn’t want me being in a relationship at my age. I would’ve told them but something didn’t let me. I probably would have if she asked but she would have never expected it, even though I told her Ian was bisexual.

She also said that she wasn’t crying about this because of me being gay, but that I chose to talk to my friends first before her and that I don’t really tell her much of anything these days. I really felt bad about it seeing as she felt so strongly about it, too.

Dad also came home to repeat our conversation over the phone in more depth and in person. He left my room at the end of it, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek saying, “I love you, son.”

Well now it’s over… Almost. My siblings still don’t know but  they will eventually. I just don’t think they’ll be as understanding as my parents were. Things I think are still cooling down between me and my parents but I hope it all works out in the end.