I am supposed to be doing my Latin homework right now and my dad said he’ll reset my password later. The current password is “I AM A COMPLETE IDIOT”. I tried to crack the password before and I tried calling myself an idiot but I never would have guessed to put the word ‘complete’ before it. If I can crack it later I will definitely be able to get back on track with my blog posts again.

So today began like the usual, except I woke up late so I had no time to straighten my hair. so I went through the day with my not-as-pretty hair. It was okay though since I straightened it last night so it was almost straight. At breakfast, though, I was a bit teed off at the smaller kids who are friends with Ricky and his cute twin Billy. (Twin? Wouldn’t that mean they’re both cute? Well yes, but they’re fraternal so they don’t look alike.)

They were acting like I was some sort of disease being gay since they just found out yesterday at breakfast. One kid, Tommy (Ricky and Billy’s other brother) was really being an ass so I said to him, “Tommy. I will fuck you so hard you’ll cry.” He apparently got scared of me then seeing as he just got up and left after giving me a weird look. Then his other friend, whose name escapes me, left because I told him, “You’re next. I got a thing for short people.” and as he was leaving I shouted “Bye, Sweetie!” Good times.

We had a sub in Math today so I got to sit at a different table with John, Chris, and a couple of girls. I told them I was starting to freak out seeing as my mom is catching on to me being gay. It didn’t help yesterday that I tried to walk away after she asked the question. I just wanted to get out of there.

Next was English then Latin, a bore as always. Next was FACS class, where we are now making soft pretzels. The dough looked pretty dry, though. I think we may have screwed up somewhere. Sam had asked me, “So… do you like watch… gay porn?” It wasn’t like Sam to ask but knowing him it wasn’t him just trying to get a cheap laugh. So I told him yes and he then asked me if it was enjoyable, to which I just didn’t answer.

At lunch Nick was once again being his usual dumbass self. He did that finger in the fly trick to which I today responded, “How much do you ant for it?” He talked with his friends and then said, “Eighty dollars.” I gave him a look and said, “For that pathetic thing?” It got the “Ohhhh!” from the rest of the guys at the table. I am good.

History was next. The teacher is starting to get on my nerves. Every time I say something to Sam he says, “I heard that.” Next time he does I think I’ll just ask him, “Well what did I say then?” I’ll get him yet.

On the ride home, the rain had apparently blocked off the path that the bus driver takes, so he decided to make a surprise detour around his route and directly to the station. I asked him what was going on and he said to me, “Well I’m going to the station.” And when I told him I needed to get off, he said to me, “Well that’s what you get for not listening.” I was really pissed at him now. Like I could hear him with my obviously noticeable giant headphones on. So I shouted “Well fuck you then!” and stomped to the back. I called my mom to pick me up and waited to arrive there. Maybe I’d run into Brian there.

I got to the station and two people behind me asked, “Do you know where you’re going?” I don’t know why but seeing these nice people for a change put a smile on my face. “I do now.” They smiled back and headed down the stairs to the train station. At least there are some good people in the world. But bus drivers… Bus drivers are assholes.

I am now home enjoying some brownies I made for the hell of it. It’s probably the first thing I made that i didn’t burn. I hope to get back to posting like I normally do again. The school computer doesn’t support the WordPress page theme. So it looks like a blank HTML page and it just makes it harder to write with.

Love.

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Right now I am posting from our school’s media center since my computer at home was taken away from me due to my not so great grades. It sucks. So I’ll have to make this post sweet and short.
So today really sucked seing as it has been pouring rain since yesterday. I ended up waiting at the bus stop for a whole ten minutes getting soaked before it came. When I got to school I was so drenched I decided to go through the day with no socks on. It started with math which was your basic worksheets, then Latin where I doodled as always. Next was science where we continued our insulator. Then gym in which we were supposed to have a health class but we ended up joining other classes instead.
At lunch the boy Nick tried to hit on me but I know he’s straight so I try to ignore him. Today he scooted over to me with his thumb sticking out his fly trying to make it look like you-know-what. I just looked away.
On the way back to classes he walked by me and called me a faggot. I know I couldn’t let him get to me and it didn’t. I turned around and said, “Love you too, sweetheart!” with a smile.
Then we had English and History, the usual snore, and then Drama.
In Drama I was interviewed the usual gay questions by this girl Paula. She wasn’t as disturbing as Taylor though. We talked about who we thought was hot and another conversation about Frankie. It wans’t creepy at all and was a fun chat.
I now have to go homne and rescue my drowning basement. Sorry for no pictures and not a long post. I’ll try to get a better one in tomorrow.
Love.

************************************************

Okay I am sneaking a post in form home right now.

When I got home the driveway was flooded. I had to spend the whole afternoon shoveling it out. Thne I decided to go down the park because the water was waist deep. To think that it was dry land at some point and this much rain had filled it. I later realized it was mixed with raw sewage which I showered off later. I got some footage on tape, too. If I can I may be able to post it here at some point but not for a while.

When I got home my mom said that my sister Abby had been told by these two people, Lorenzo and Reed, that I was gay. I pretended it was all some crazy lie but I wanted to cry. I would like to have a talk with the two boys, maybe I’ll have to drive it through their skulls too…

Things are getting too close and I’ll really have to watch myself. I told my sister to not let my mom in on any of that stuff again. She didn’t think for a second the boys may have been right either.

Oh today was an incredible of days. The morning was as usual, wake up, breakfast, and hanging with Amanda and Venus again. Then our day began. It started with progress reports in homeroom. I got a C in math and English, B’s in History and Science, and a D+ in Latin. I knew this was coming so there were no surprises. (BTW if I don’t end up posting on Monday it’s because my computer and Xbox were taken away as punishment.)

My parents take away my xbox and stuff because they think that’s why I’m losing it in school. If they read this blog they would realize that my life is actually more interesting. But no I am just a lazy as to them and if they make my life more boring it will make me a better person. It won’t help me though. All it does is bore the hell out of me. I’m just going ot have to find something to occupy my time a little more.

The day started with Latin, in which we had a quiz, which I aced for the first time in a while. Then second period there was a change in schedule. We were going to get a preview of the school play! It was fantastic. It was titled, “13”. It’s about a Jewish boy who moves away from New York right as his Bar Mitzvah is coming up. He then makes a new friend who is apparently hated by the school and wants to fit in but also wants to be friends with said hated friend. It’s fun and colorful and the acting was quite cheesy at times but it was a god time. I wanted to see the whole play but my mom wouldn’t let me…

The star of the show was the obvious Tristan. He got the lead role last year as Troy in High School Musical. This year he played Evan. Everyone’s favorite actor was Mason, who played a small crippled boy named Archie. Mason is probably one of the cutest boys I’ve ever seen, and today I found out he has a voice like an angel! I would have really really wanted to see the rest of the play but since I couldn’t I’ll probably find out how it went on Monday.

After the play I had encore study, where things got kind of out of hand. It started out slow with Frankie’s usual silly comments that I like him. Then in the middle a group of girls came up to me and wanted to talk about you know what… Frankie asked me when they came up in a mocking voice, “You feel uncomfortable with girls all around you? Most guys would love it…” I rolled my eyes at that one. Taylor(the one who shouted that I’d fuck Frankie to the bus) wanted to know a little bit more about it. She said she was serious but anyone hearing the questions would’ve thought she was trying to mess with me. She asked if i jacked off, to which I responded, “I’m pretty sure all boys do. Not just gay ones.” Then she wanted to know how often gay people do it. I’m pretty sure that’s the same for all boys, too. And like I know…

The questions got a little more uncomfortable as she went along, talking about who I liked. On that one we ended up talking forever about Frankie’s gorgeous eyes. They are a pale bluish-gray which gives you a shiver as if you were on ice. They are the most dreamy eyes I have ever seen in my life.

I surprisingly answered all the questions completely honestly, and the whole table ended up getting involved which was a little weird. At the end of the period Taylor went a little out of line and asked me how large mine was… That I refused to answer seeing as for one i have no idea, and two that seems a bit unreasonable to answer. The teacher dismissed us right after the question was asked so I didn’t stick around for her to ask again.

After that discussion, somehow it only took ten minutes for the entire school to find out I was gay. Suddenly, at the start of the next period, this kid Danny was looking for me outside my hallway. At first I thought he was going to beat me crapless since he’s that kind of guy. Then at lunch he came over to my table to just confirm I was truly gay. Then some girl Ashley told her entire table at lunch that I was gay. I didn’t turn around but Ricky said they were looking at me. Then another table next to mine was staring at me with creepy smiles. All eyes were on me.

Then as I was shifting from math to science a boy Lakota said to me, “Did you really tell everyone you were gay?” I said yes and he just walked with a smile to his next class. Then I overheard this guy Michael in our English class saying to his friend Henry, “He’s gay.” I could only imagine who they were talking about. The last of the comments happened at the end of the day when this sort-of friend of mine came up to me in the hallway and just wanted to confirm it. Then he asked if I thought he was hot in the hallway. I just made the ‘sort of’ hand gesture to him.

Did i say that was the last of it? Oh. Well on the bus some girl sat next to me and asked, “Did you say you like Frankie, like… gay?” So I said plainly, “Yes.” She said it was weird… Weird? God some people… My buddy Sam just piped up and called her a dumb hoe. It’s not like Sam to speak up like that but it was pretty funny if you ask me, and she had it coming.  I then hit on Sam, although I wouldn’t actually consider going out with him. He’s cute and all, but I know for a fact he’s straight and we’re too good of friends to be together. It was a good deal of laughs, though. He kept getting grossed out, which left Ella, a good friend of mine plus Sam’s best friend and girlfriend in stitches.

I came home to be yelled at by my parents about my grades, which honestly, I could care less about at the moment. I think there’s something bigger going on right now.

So now everyone knows… Everyone of course except my family. But I have no intentions of telling them for a good long while.

Love.

I had a pretty rough morning seeing as I didn’t do my homework last night and worked on it all morning on the bus and at breakfast. I can be so lazy at times. At breakfast, however, Ricky wasn’t making any joking gay jokes like he and Andrew said they would be doing. So I turn to him and say, “Ya know Ricky you haven’t made any fag jokes today.” And he apparently wasn’t doing it because the kid across from us, Mark, didn’t know. This came off as a bit odd seeing as Ben had told me that Mark was the one who told him. We ended up telling Mark, and he was totally cool with it. Ricky then said that Frankie had told this girl Taylor that I said I would fuck him, and then Taylor shouted it for the whole bus to hear. I cursed her name a few times and then decided to just forget it.

The day started with Science, which was a deal of interesting. We were supposed to make an insulation container for a soda can that would be filled with hot water. And Rita brought the greatest tool of them all to class. Duct Tape. Oh my favorite of all adhesives. All I really wanted to do the whole day was play with it, and I did. I ended up getting a piece stuck to my shoulder by Shaira, two rings around my forearm, and one piece around my middle finger.

Next was history, then Latin, in which I forgot my homework for about the seventh time in a row. Then we had an encore study, which ended up being quite painful. When I first walked in Frankie said to me, “Hey Christian you wanna go out?” I knew he was joking so I played along. “Sure.” He then got all nervous and said, “Whoa. Uuh… never mind.” Amazing, I had a boyfriend for about seven seconds. He kept on bragging that I liked him that way for the whole period.

I got some work done as usual, then these three girls came over and started talking to me. They noticed the duct tape and got worried that it was going to cut off the circulation. I didn’t want to take it off though because it was going to hurt like hell. But I ended up doing it anyway. I asked Frankie if he wanted to do it but he refused, so I had to do it myself. I grabbed the piece on my arm and began to pull. I kept going until it began to hurt, and then when it did, I ripped it as hard as I could.

“Aah! Fuck your mother in the ass with a screwdriver!” I shouted loud enough for everyone to hear, and then burst into laughter. The teacher didn’t though so we were in the clear. Frankie then offered to pull off the second one seeing as he wanted to make me cry. But don’t take it the wrong way, he’s not a sick bastard like that. After the rip, I shouted again. “Aargh you son of a—” This was followed again by laughter.

We had the usual laughter in maths, and the further questioning at lunch. English was next, and then SOAR, which is just an extra period at the end of Thursday. I signed up for wiffle ball, along with Dildo Doug, Frankie, and their friend Sam. Doug wasn’t there however, probably got busted for doing something stupid, as the teacher suggested. I played at first base. When Frankie made it to first he said to me behind my back, “Hey ****. Nice ass.” I had a few giggles and responded with, “Thank you. I’m glad you admire it.”

My day ends with a lonely, rainy bus ride home with my headphones. I have hockey later and if anything happens I’ll post it here. Probably won’t though.

Love.

My hair was finally back to normal today and was straightened to almost perfection. Perfection was a couple days ago. I went through the usual routine, except for this time I stayed at breakfast for longer so I could hang with Ricky. He decided not to talk about our discussion with the lunch because of the people around us. I decided to leave a little before school so I could still say hello to Amanda and Venus and walk into school with them. They greeted me with the usual hug, of course with extra hugs from Amanda. We walked in, taking a route that goes with us walking through the 7th grade hallway, which I blended in fine with seeing as they were just as tall as most of the 8th graders. We then parted at the end of the hallway with hugs, and I walked up the staircase next to me to our hallway.

The day started with Latin, which Devon is still absent from for whatever reason, then FACS class, in which we finally got to make the cookies. It ended up being just me and Sam there so we each got 11 cookies! Way too much for one sitting, so we each had 4 and brought the rest home. We decided to take them one at a time for size reasons. It felt sort of like a mafia deal. The teacher actually let us take them to lunch which was cool. But I forgot and decided to get them at the end of the day. I was trying to get Sam to beg for his pencil back after we were done cooking and were allowed to do our homework. Ricky had begged for a pencil the other day and it was just the cutest thing, but Sam said he had no intention of being my sexual thrill. LOL.

In English we finally read more of The Giver which I have been waiting forever to do. Too bad we stopped when the story was getting interesting, but they do it on purpose. And when we got to lunch, the weirdness began.

I went to the lunch table and sat down with my lunch like all was normal, and then I was further questioned throughout the whole lunch period. It started with Frankie asking me (and my answers to all the following were ‘yes’), “Are you really gay?” “So you like boys?” “So you like penis?” I had a bit of giggles on the last one seeing as I never really talked to anyone like that before. Then there were more questions from everyone like “Would you fuck him” or “If I was gay would you go out with me?” Most of the questions were like, “If you could have anyone at this table who would it be?” then one out of the whole school. Most of my answers were Frankie, which really made him feel uncomfortable. We had so many laughs and I was actually completely honest for everything. Yesterday when I told them there was a vote to get me out of the table. It ended up me staying but I would’ve stayed even if everyone hated me. Now the vote was called again, and this time no one voted for me to leave, not even Dipshit Doug, which came as a surprise.

So everything is going okay with them. And the rest of the day was easy sailing. History in which I tried once again to get Sam to beg, which I came close to. Then Math which was the usual fun-with-friends-while-working-somewhat class.

Things seem to be going so great, yet I feel something is going to go wrong soon. Always does.

Love.

Today surely had an unexpected surprise. Definitely not how I had thought it would’ve happened. But we should start at the beginning. I started off with an awful hair day with me not being able to straighten it very well. I apparently used a different shampoo in the shower last night (I have to shower the night before because the mornings are far too busy for our family of 7) and that had made my hair frizzy and unable to be straightened.

The day at school started with me having to skip math in order to take the National Latin Exam. Cool name, huh? Cost me four bucks to take it. It went pretty well actually. I can’t remember exactly what happens if you do good enough on the test, but it probably won’t happen seeing as I guessed on a lot of the questions. It’s okay, there were a lot of cool people there.

We started cooking, FINALLY, in our FACS class today. We were making cookies to get back to the basics. It was ‘oodles’ of fun with me and one of my best friends Sam always trying to sneak our fingers in the mixing bowl and take a bit of dough. Before we put the flour in I must say the mixture looked like vomit. I’ll have to remember that one. We had a good time with the girls in our group always telling us to stop with the licking of the bowl. We didn’t get to bake them today but we will get to tomorrow.

Lunch is where it got interesting. Right when I sat down I got asked by this kid Andrew, (who is really big and tough. You wouldn’t want to get on his bad side) if I straightened my hair again. I said yes, like it was nothing. He then asked me, “So what are you, gay?” I figured it was about time they knew. “You know I should probably just tell you guys but yeah.” they all had their giggles and then my best friend Ricky asked, “Wait are you really?” I said yes again and then the conversation began. Andrew started by joking that I should leave, and of course Dickfer Doug was going to mock me. It was okay though since he seemed like a real ass being the only one making fun of me. Some of the questions were as followed:

Ricky: So do you feel offended when people call you gay?

Me: Actually it hurts a lot less than if it were a straight person seeing as I am gay and it only hurts as much as calling me a human being.

Frankie: Wait so you REALLY are gay?

Me: Yeah

*Frankie giggles after that but I know he’s not an ass. He’s just a tool for Doug which I kind of look down on.

Jayquon: I remember having a gay friend at my old school. Your totally cool with me because if I wasn’t me and my friend couldn’t be friends anymore and we’re really tight.

Andrew: Do your parents know?

Me: No. My mom I know will be cool with it if I do tell her but my did isn’t around too much for me to know if he will or not.

Andrew also said that he would have my back if I was getting any trouble from people which could be helpful when we go to Minuteman. I always thought that this was going to be that hardest thing for me to do, coming out to these friends. They all seemed like the kind of people who would shun me out from their lives for me being this way. But they actually understood and I thought it was really great of them to care.

Now word is spreading though because Ricky says Andrew is the blabbermouth type. I think he was right because word got to my buddy Mark and Ben from Latin class as far as I know. As long as he doesn’t tell this guy Tom in our grade. He’s the type that would try and use this to ruin my life because he’s just that kind of sick bastard who gets a kick out of other people’s misery. So as I was walking down the hall I passed Andrew and said to him, “Just don’t let Tom **** know.”

The hard part is over now. I can just cruise along.

Love.

Today was not the luckiest day for me. And it started off with some bad news from Brian. After breakfast I wanted to stay with Rita and her friend Ian. After a while of talking they went off and I was alone with Brian. He looked at me and said, “So I figured out I’m taking a week off before I leave so I can still have my Spring break.” Now Brian was leaving even sooner than he was, and it was already bad enough with him leaving in the first place. So my day was already off to a bad start.

Devon wasn’t here today which was a bit of a bummer because I wanted to see how he was doing with the whole me coming out o him thing and if he was still cool after our talk on Friday. I guess I’ll see him tomorrow. I really just hope he doesn’t give me his I’m-thinking-serious-thoughts-about-you Devon look that I sometimes get from him. He stares right at you and puts on an almost smile but still unhappy face which confuses the hell out of me.

Later in homeroom I realized that I had forgotten to put my permission slip in my backpack that was for a field trip to Boston. Thank god I was able to get one more day to get it in but if I screw up again I not only will be missing the field trip, but also having to explain to my mother why I was so irresponsible. I also ended up miss only one math problem on my assignment that was for homework and my sheet was marked as incomplete for the 9th time this term.

I was also getting more compliments, or should I say comments, on my new hair. At the beginning of the day a couple friends were saying, “Did you straighten your hair? Oh it looks nice.” At lunch however I had gotten a few from the ‘asses’ saying, “****” (last names will look like this. People like to call me by my last name.) “What’s up with your hair? It’s so gay.” To which I was thinking, “Yes. Yes it is.” You know, actually being gay makes the insult hurt a lot less when I think about it.

In History my bad luck continued. I had my essay on Lorenzo Ghiberti all set but I thought this was only a due date for a rough draft seeing as we never wrote an official rough draft like we always do. But apparently we needed the whole project today. I brought in my report, but I didn’t have my cover sheet or my bibliography. So now I will be turning in my incredibly hardly worked on essay late tomorrow. It was definitely a bummer since this report counts toward both my History class for the content and my English class for the writing quality. So I screwed up double with that one.

If anyone read earlier posts you would know I had written the words, “What’s wrong with liking other boys?” on the bathroom stall a little while ago. Well today, I finally got a reply on the wall. It read as followed:

“You, my friend, are a fag.” Don’t worry there are a few good things out of this. For one he used the proper punctuation and spelled everything right in that sentence. That’s also got to be the first time anyone has ever used the word ‘fag’ properly. I always thought it had lost it’s meaning and people just used it as a general term for stupid people like ‘retard’. It wasn’t too bad. I knew if anyone was going to reply to that it was going to probably be an insult. I hope they get my reply: “And? You say it like it’s wrong.” Honestly I don’t see what the big deal is with people.

I also got a comment from Frankie saying I had ’emo’ hair. So? His haircut reminds me of a bug. That may just be his eyes though. They remind me of ice. Definitely some of the cutest I’ve ever seen. And maybe that’s what I was striving for. It’s better than my past hair style. My hair looked like a vase surrounding my head. So who cares if I lok odd to people. I love my hair. It’s different.

My Skullcrushers ran out of battery today as well so I listened to my music without bass boost which made it sound really bad. Hardly worth listening to. We don’t have batteries at home either so I have to suck it up for a while, and I can’t live without my music. Before we got on the bus these 7th graders commented on my headphones, calling them earmuffs making me feel like shit. As well as my earring and ’emo’ hair. So they pretty much trashed my whole look. I felt stupid.

I then later that day had to play a hockey game with dull skates. I actually played a pretty good game. I didn’t let in any goals on net. The other goalie did though and the game ended up a tie of 1-1. I’m surprised that I didn’t let any goals in tonight, though since i was a little distracted. A player on our team, Jack, had invited his little brother Will to play for us tonight. He looked absolutely perfect. He had the cutest little innocent face, sparkling blue eyes and a neat head of golden blond hair. I found it pretty strange of him to keep looking at me while I was getting dressed, then looking away when I saw him watching, but not quick enough…

Look alike of Will

And now I am home and am preparing for a hopefully not so dreadful tomorrow. I think our school progress reports are coming and I know I’m not doing so well. Thankfully my dad wouldn’t take away the computer because I still need it for school. But my Xbox can say bye-bye.

Love.